Teaching Communication Skills

 
It may seem that communicating with the baby will be a difficult task. While the baby is still an infant it may be; however, the quality of the baby's communication skills will depend largely on the mother's talking and listening skills. It is important to teach the baby at an early age that good communication involves listening attentively and thoughtfully, thinking before speaking, using body language to communicate, speaking with tact and using self control to avoid hurting others.

The baby will learn to communicate long before he can talk. It may be hard for the mother to believe, but if skeptical - just listen to the baby's crying! That is the first and most primitive form of communication that the baby will work with. From there on, the baby's communication skills will be largely molded by how the mother and her partner interact and respond to him.

It is crucial that the mother believe in the value of the baby's crying as a method of communication. If the baby learns that the signal of crying will elicit a response, then he will be motivated to communicate again. If it is feared that responding to a crying baby more will create more crying this is not the case. The baby will learn to cry smarter by controlling his crying to elicit the required response, and he will not continue to do it until it becomes annoying. With time, the baby's communication style will become more elaborate and will incorporate other sounds, eye contact and body movement as well.

Followers of the training school that enforce letting babies 'cry it out' are mistaken in their belief that babies cannot communicate. If the baby is allowed to cry endlessly then he will learn to keep his feelings bottled up inside instead of sharing them. By responding to the baby's communication cues, the mother has helped him learn that the noises he makes correspond to his feelings within and that his feelings and needs will be addressed when he communicates them. Actions as simple as cuddling the baby when he cries, comforting him when he fusses and smiling when he babbles, all let him know he is being understood.

For the mother to model good communication early, she may want to start by talking to the baby in a form of English affectionately known as motherese. Speaking in motherese involves using a raised pitch, slowed rate of speaking and exaggerated intonation of vowels and main syllables when talking to the baby. Faces also become more animated and contribute to a more effective and exaggerated form of communication.

It is also important for the mother to model turn taking in conversations, even if the baby does not respond all the time. Talking in slowly rising crescendos and falling decrescendos along with bursts and pauses teaches the baby that there is a natural listen and respond form to speech.

While it is important to start conversation, it is important to also know when to stop it. Listening to the baby will be crucial, as he will start to close his eyes or break eye contact if he has had too much sensory overload. When that time comes, it will be up to the mother to change communication styles to calm and soothe the baby, instead of exciting him.

At first, the baby's skills in what he can understand (known as receptive language) are far greater than what he can say (known as expressive language). He will understand a great deal and will benefit if explained to while being taken care of e. g. 'Mommy is going to put on your coat because it is cold outside'

The following is a table of eight major ways in which the baby communicates his feelings towards others:

Method of Communication	Emotion Communicated
Crying	Hunger, fear, pain, sadness, discomfort, loneliness.
Laughing	Contentment, happiness, joy, pleasure.
Cooing or babbling	Feelings and thoughts.
Closing of the mouth	Dislikes the food or is no longer hungry.
Opening arms	Needs to be held or needs a rest.
Fussing	Boredom or tiredness.
Pre-cry signals (example: rooting or grimacing)	Signals various needs

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