Common Fears of Fatherhood

Expectant fathers too have concerns and fears surrounding the prospect of parenthood and birth. It is important that he discuss these fears and concerns with his partner. Worries that are not discussed can create tension and distance between the expectant parents. Expressing these concerns can ensure a healthy relationship during pregnancy. Some of the more common concerns of a father are:

Birth Defects

The possibility of birth defects is a common worry for expectant fathers as it is for mothers. The thought of raising a challenged child is a concern for fathers both financially and emotionally. Although the chances of a defect occurring are not great, the threat is still there and can cause concern. Again communication between partners is paramount in calming fears and concerns. The possibility of defects and the fears surrounding it can motivate him to ensure that the pregnancy and his partner are healthy and safe.

Maternal Death

It is not uncommon for expectant fathers to be overly concerned with every pain, ache, and discomfort of the mother - even more so than she is. This stems largely from his concern that the mother may die during labor. These fears are not irrational but it should be kept in mind that labor related deaths are uncommon as modern medicine has made great advances in preventing and managing labor complications.

Fathers are also usually concerned with the potential death of the child that the mother is carrying. As careful and thoughtful as partners may be in ensuring the health of their child, stillbirths and miscarriages occur. Knowing that these are uncommon occurrences can be reassuring. Talking with a doctor regarding the possibility of death of the mother or child is often a good solution to these anxieties. Also, touring the birthing facilities can help ease concerns.

Financial Concerns

Typically men are the primary breadwinner for families. Although this is slowly changing it is true from most families. This financial responsibility can be a lot to handle especially when one considers the expansion of a family and how many people one must support. Talking about finances can be very helpful. This will allow both you and your partner to budget and decide what areas of spending can be reduced or altered together. These choices will be hard, but making them together can certainly lessen the financial burden that many expectant fathers feel is on them. Many may see greater hours at work as a solution to increased financial responsibility. However, he must remember that time spent at work is time away from his expectant partner and family who need his emotional and physical support as well.

Changing Relations with their Partner

Many fathers fear that with the entrance of a new baby into their lives, their partner will be neglectful of their relationship and needs. These concerns typically begin early in pregnancy and are rational. Expectant mothers tend to become more introverted and introspective which can leave their partners feeling neglected and abandoned. It is important the he realize that this is normal. It is advised that he find ways to be involved with the pregnancy so he can garner the attention he desires. Attending child birth and pregnancy related classes, and setting aside alone time for he and the mother are great steps. Fhe must also realize that his relationship with the mother will be affected by the birth of the baby. The attention he receives from the mother will decrease as the baby demands attention and care. Again, this can be solved by getting involved in child rearing.

Worries Surrounding Birth

Many men agree to and desire attending the birth of their child. However, the prospect of witnessing birth makes many unsettled. This stems largely from the feeling of helplessness that they have while their partner is in labor. Others are concerned with being in the way in the delivery room, or having to deal with the blood and fluids involved with labor. Speaking to the mother and her physician are important in alleviating fears. Most women will want their partners present.

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